Guys. They say they are life. they say they are what holds this world together. for some of them this is true. but for most, they are whats taking this world apart. it takes a guy to have a kid, but it takes a Man to be a father. so far i have not found a real man. all guys. but i guess these are the guys that have kids then think it's too hard to raise a child and leave. every guy. iguess these guys will never be men. how long does a marrage last now? 5 years, tops? all those people married guys, none married men. and when the two lines show up on the test those guys say marrage is over. or they want out cuz they have 9 other kids with 7 other weman.dont get me wrong there are some crazy weman out there to, but we most always get the kids. they way life is hasn't changed much. stay at home mom, homemaker, all mean the same. but i know this is never goning to change.

Last night i had a dream. a really strange dream. i was going on a field trip with my class (i am well over with school) and we were goinbg to this old masion on a little island out in the middle of a lake. as we were walking the tour me, my friend Val and another girl went away from the class. we were looking around and found this room full of old dusty quilted beds. then we started to hear really scary sounds. like screams and such. so we all three hid under a quilt on a bed. we waited and all of a sudden there was this mass right by me. we pulled the cover down and we saw this very hamdsome vampier laying RIGHT by me! my friends screamed and ran away. but i didn't. i just looked at him. he was so hot, skinny but built, nice clean hair, no face hair, nice evil but nice smile, and dark sinking eyes. we didn't talk, just looked into each others eyes. then we were suddenly in his room, same bed, but his room. a very swank pimped out room. we laughed, joked, talked, everything was bliss. then his phone went off and he started texting some one. i asked what was going on and he showed me a movie on his phone. it was a vampier woman who was talking to him, saying how much she loved him and that she was so glad she was having his child and that she would see him in the morning when he was done with me. i was mad. really mad. agai i was in the stupid thought of everythig going good. i told him if i was to be with anyone it would have to be a very very very closed relationship. he just shrugged his sholders and i woke up.

This dream tells me that no matter what i do i can never find a guy that is just right. i've dated all types of guys and they all have somthing wrong with them. cheating, drugs, rudness, stupidty. all of them bad in some big way that i just can't pass as a little thing. no matter what, guys ae not going to change. i just want to find one. but not now. this just tells me that there isn't a guy out there that is really really good.

P.S. i think the vampier thing was just from me playing SIMs 2 where there are vampiers in SIMs Nightlife.